A hotel replete with . . . something

I can’t resist looking at photos of hotel rooms. So when I came across a post about a cool new boutique hotel in Florida, I went to their website to look at the room photography.

As I visually strolled from one room category to the next, I waited for one particular shot to pop into view. It was a photo featured in the blog post, and it showed a room interior with what looked to be a fairly high-end telescope. It was one of those short, fat telescopes, on a lovely wooden tripod, too—definitely not a kid’s toy.

Since I love, love, love to look at the night sky over the ocean, I wanted to find out if every room came equipped with one of these beauties, or if it was an exclusive feature of one specific room type.

I don’t know if it was the rooms that weren’t spectacular, or the photography, but the photos were slow to respond to my clicks. I’m not typically this impatient when it comes to browsing through hotel websites. But the photos didn’t reveal much, soothes weren’t particularly interesting. When I finally found the photo I was looking for, I was relieved.

As I breezed through the room description, scanning for the word “telescope,” something else stopped me cold.

Replete

No, it wasn’t the bidet that threw me. It was the “a.”

In milliseconds, my mind moved through the following thought sequence like a line of dominoes toppling over. It began with “Huh?” and was followed by:

There’s no sentence in the English language that should ever contain the phrase ‘replete with a.’

which lead to:

Can you use ‘replete’ with a collective noun? I don’t think so. But if you could, then ‘replete with a’ is a viable phrase. However, even if ‘bidet’ were a collective noun, the sentence wouldn’t make sense.

and then to:

The blog post said rates at this hotel start at $415 a night, and this is their level of attention to detail?

to:

That was 10 minutes I’ll never get back.

and, finally, to:

Maybe there’s a blog post in this.

I like the idea of an oceanfront hotel room with its own telescope, but not enough to pick up the phone and ask about it. I’m better off saving the $669 I’d spend for one night in that room, and buying my own telescope.

Consumer-me would have gotten as far as “That was 10 minutes I’ll never get back” and then left the site, and that would have been the end of it. I’d have given up on the telescope, the hotel, everything. Something that was compelling enough to make me momentarily consider planning a vacation had just as quickly turned me off.

But writer-me wanted to write this post, so I went back to the site to look up the price of a one-night’s stay in the room pictured. While I was there, I finished reading the description to get the details on the telescope—not even mentioned. Strike two.


I can’t imagine anyone who would bother to read this far would be stymied as to why the phrase “replete with a” turned a potential guest into a missed opportunity for this hotel. But, if you’re the anomaly, here you go.


A final note: If you’re wondering why I didn’t include the photo I talk about in the post, I can’t include it. Or, rather, I won’t. If I include it, I have to credit it, which would force me to identify the hotel, which I don’t want to do. I don’t want to give them or the photographer a hard time over it.

Instead, I’ll offer a plug for the Jupiter Beach Resort & Spa in Palm Beach. While I’ve never stayed there, a quick online search identified this oceanfront hotel as having telescopes available for guest use. And the descriptive copy on their home page is clear and error-free.

Oh, and the view from one of their oceanfront suites? Check it out:

View of the Atlantic from an oceanfront suite at the Jupiter Beach Hotel & Resort

An oceanfront room at the Jupiter Beach Resort & Spa offers quite a view–telescope or not

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